Confessions of a Runner  … Who Occasionally Hates Running.


This week my friend Andrea posted a link on my Facebook page to “Under Armor’s What’s Beautiful – A Competition to Redefining the Female Athlete.”   http://whatsbeautiful.ua.com/  The mission of the competition is “We're going to show the world what beautiful really is. Are you in? The three women who push it the hardest and farthest will become the new faces of Under Armour Women and have their lives sponsored for a year with greatness, glory and gear. Step up. Declare your goal.”  


On the post Andrea put a really sweet note that read “You're one of the physically most driven athletes I know :) Heck, you're already training like a villain - you just have to capture some of the workouts and upload them! Have a great weekend!”  That made me feel good.  Andrea is one of my teammates from Team USO for the Marine Corps Marathon.  She lives hundreds of miles away but still is a great encouragement to me.  

Post Marine Corps Marathon 2011

After an unplanned Semper Fit Race at Joint Base Ft. Meyer-Henderson Hall

She just happened to be in DC and we decided the night before to do the race

I love when people say that I have in same way inspired them to run or be active.  But the truth is, I don’t always feel like doing it myself.  Today was one of those day.  Usually running is a way for me to work through the stress and the challenges of daily life.  But  sometimes my running is almost like being a manic depressive.  I can have extreme highs followed by extreme lows.  Last weekend I ran 3 races … a 5K a 4.2 miler and a 10 miler, all at a 7:30 – 7:45 pace.  I was really pleased.  I did a couple of spinning workout this week since I am toying with the idea of doing a triathlon.  I even did a brick session on Thursday.


But yesterday something happened in my running brain.  I decided to not run a 5K in my neighborhood.  I was just too tired I told myself.  Even one of my Daily Mile friends asked if I was okay because I don’t usually just decide not to run. I know it’s a combination of factors causing my general nasty state of mind..  All I wanted to do today was stay curled up in bed snuggled up with my fur ball Liberty.  Skipping workouts, however, is a slippery slope and missing one day can easily turn into skipping a few.  Today I told myself that I hated running and had to be a crazy person to go out and run for no reason and on an icky day.  Somehow, maybe it was guilt, I managed to get my shoes on and get myself out the door … but I absolutely hated every stride of the 8 ½ mile run.  I really do not like it when things rob me of the joy I get from running, things that make me hate running.


Right now I am kind of in no man’s land running wise.  I worked really hard to qualify for Boston at the Shamrock Marathon in March.  When I did I felt an overwhelming sense of accomplishment.  I was on a real runner’s high, even if it hurt to move, for a few days.  Then the post race blues started to set in.  I have also started worrying that, despite qualifying for Boston, I may not get in when it’s actually time to register.  That is eating away at my running soul.  Right now I am just running to run and going between races.  I don’t have any real goal or schedule.  I am very much a task and goal oriented person and the lack of either is not a good thing. I will most likely be signing up soon to run the Marine Corps Marathon again for Team USO and begin real/focused training.  Until then I will just have to dig down deep and force myself out the door.


There are a few glimmers of hope though.  I got home from my run today and saw a picture of a friend who just finished his first half marathon. That made me feel really good for him!  Next weekend I am flying to attend the wedding of a very good friend and we have planned a short wedding morning run.  Best of all I will also get to see  my nieces and nephew and have the opportunity to run on my trail away from home the Chippewa River Trail.  Nothing beats wrapping up a run and knowing my little niece Ava is there waiting to give me a hug :-)  All that should help put a spring back in my stride.